Anger
How do you express your needs without hurting others?
Anger can be suppressed by being redirected to another activity or channeled into another emotion.
Surpressed anger can lead to physical health problems such as high blood pressure or depression.
When suppressing anger, you may direct your anger indirectly at others in a passive-aggressive manner or by criticizing others.
Research indicates that anger decreases with age, with the highest levels at ages 30 to 50 and the lowest levels after age 80 (Schieman, 1999).
Lazarus (1973) research shows how assertive behaviour can be visualised:
"the ability to say no, the ability to ask favors or make requests, ability to express positive and negative feelings, the ability to initiate, continue and finish a general conversation."
Smith maintained that assertiveness involves:
- Saying no
- Requesting help when required
- Noticing positive and negative feelings of both parties
- Ensuring that there is an initiation, continuation and conclusion of a general conversation.
Avoid exaggeration, blame or the word “you”, focus more on the “I” … I feel ________when you _________________.